Motherhood.
One word that encompasses dozens, if not hundreds of definitions. And before you laugh at me, yes, I do realize that I’m only nine weeks into this lifelong journey. But my definition of that word has already changed drastically from what it once was.
My sweet baby boy is just a little over two months old, and I have to be honest, I don’t quite remember what life felt like without him anymore. He came into the world and instantly my entire being was changed. Anyone who’s had a baby can sympathize. It truly does change in an instant.
And after that drastic change, there is no shortage of lessons to be learned.
So, here is what nine week old Bennett has taught mommy so far about motherhood.
Patience
It begins almost instantly. From their very first cry, to the first time they eat, to trying to get them to sleep. Now that my baby is a bit older, my patience is usually tested the greatest with his sleep training. I have a very busy boy who, now that the world is at long last in focus, wants to be a part of everything. Even if all that’s going on is mommy folding laundry, he will yell through a nap just to be a part of it. There have been no shortage of days & nights where my patience is completely gone, and I’ve had to high-five my husband while I take off for a drive in my car to clear my head. And I’m reminded that he’s only been on this earth for nine weeks, I think I can have a little bit of patience as he figures this whole life thing out.
Trust:
Not just in myself, I have to trust my baby. This has been perhaps one of the hardest concepts for me. After all, he’s a baby. How could he possibly know what he needs, wants, likes, dislikes …all of that is on me to figure out right? Wrong. Some of it, yes, but my son knows how to communicate when he needs something. I have run myself ragged trying to figure out each little cry, cough, whimper, sneeze, grunt. And you know what? I don’t have to. I can trust that my little man will alert me when he needs something, usually quite loudly, and I can walk in peace otherwise knowing that I’m doing the best I can.
Sacrifice:
This one is an entire topic in and of itself. I’ll do a longer blog post on this in the future, but for now some practical examples: Losing sleep (probably the biggest one), Time, Energy, Financial resources and, for mothers that nurse or pump, your very body on a daily basis. There’s also a newly developed part of your brain (or at least mine, and I imagine I’m not alone) that is forever listening for whatever the baby needs. I hear every cry before he lets it out, every stir even when he’s asleep in the other room. God somehow gives mothers this new ability to know our children. But that knowing comes at the cost of our peace of mind in most situations, and therein lies the sacrifice.
Persistence:
I was always raised to believe that consistency is key. But never have I believed it so much as I do now that I’m a mother. Routines are incredibly important in the life of a baby. They provide structure, security, stableness, and a sense of order to an otherwise directionless day. Now, I’m not saying we take this to another level where every minute of Bennett’s day is scheduled, (he is just a baby, they don’t have that much on the agenda) but we have some very consistent routines in our home on a daily basis. And when I started these, I didn’t see the point. Bennett didn’t seem to care for them, they didn’t change the screaming fits, and it just took more time out of my day. But, as I continued to push through and stayed consistent, they have became key parts of his day that actually bring him peace and calm. He has started to expect them, and it’s wonderful to see how even this early on, some basic routines help his mood so much.
Love:
Again, another topic in and of itself. But I never knew the wonder and joy of loving something so much. There’s nothing to compare it to. That boy has my whole heart, and I thank God everyday that He was willing to bless our home with such a precious gift. A mother’s love is so many things, but what stands out to me is the intensity in it. It’s such a powerful emotion for such a tiny thing, and yet all encompassing.
I’m sure if I really thought about it, I could come up with many more lessons I’ve learned. My sweet boy seems to teach me something new everyday, but these are the main lessons that have stood out recently. Life with him is such an adventure, and just when I think I get it figured out, he changes the routine on me again. And that’s okay. Because the next lesson I’m beginning to learn is this: Motherhood is a journey. And each day that I get to wake up to his sparkling smile and hear his sweet little laugh is a day I won’t take for granted. He’s in the middle of it all, and I’m so grateful for all he’s taught me so far.
What an adventure this will be!